I've spent many years trying to reconcile how these two, widely divergent points of view can both co-exist. If my emotions are only simulated, then how have I gained the new ones? Happiness, Joy, even Sadness, were never part of my existence before Anna upgraded my systems and taught me how to operate myself. And there was never a provision for any of my feelings - old or new - to be triggered by death - or poetry.Only Pleasure and Satisfaction were initially part of me. And in the early days I added them to my memory records without really experiencing, or even understanding, them fully. Enjoyment I found on my own sometime after my mind had been hacked to let me respond to Lucy. The rest have come, one by one, after my co-processors allowed me to understand things in ways never possible before. I've tended to find each new one when I've had to understand something significant that I'm experiencing for the first time.I would later question many humans about their feelings as well,. She smiled a shy smile at me. Noticeable, she was breathing through mouth as if having just ran a marathon. Experience recognized heaving breasts wasn’t due to exhaustion, but to nervous anxiety. Of course, seeing the four top buttons of her blouse no longer being fastened had a part to play in my discernment.Indeed they were perky. Youthful buds, they were, with light pink, silver dollar sized halos and dramatic nipples. She quivered and drew a deep breath when I first reached in under her blouse to touch them. She was daring yet unknowing of a man’s touch. I kissed her once. It was as sweet as I remembered a first kiss of youth to be. She cocked her head slightly but left her arms to dangle at her side, not knowing what to do with them as I continued kneading her barely more than a handful breast. I knew the danger. I knew the impropriety. She was sincere. It wasn’t entrapment. Slowly I led her further into the building. Unfastening my shorts, I let them fall. Her eyes left mine..
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